Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
