Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
be right there i have to get my cape
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
