I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
