I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
