You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
