so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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