We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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