I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
