im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
