Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
