God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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