Just fell off a train. Bad.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
