yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
