I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
