I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
