I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
