OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
