I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
