apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
