are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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