i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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