FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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