Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
