Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
