3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
