1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
