Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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