seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
