I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
