When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
