I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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