that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
