This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
