You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
