i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
