Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
