Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
