Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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