Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
