Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just had sex bonerless
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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