You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
