I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
