someone threw a dead crab at me
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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