Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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