I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
