ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
