all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
