i permit you to call me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
