arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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