forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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