I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
