i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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